we're chasing vodka with high fives
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And then he peed in my hair
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