Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
