Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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