That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My breasts were aching with rage.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
