I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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