You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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