we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
