I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
