Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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