i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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