we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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