Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
