its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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