i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
