Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
