i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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