awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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