He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
