She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
