My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
