he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
