Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
