So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
