Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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