8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
