We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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