He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
