Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
