ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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