Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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