I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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