I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
