How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
