You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
