and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
