I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
