what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
