Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize
