guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
