hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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