We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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