Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
