So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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