Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
