Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
