Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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