So drunk its hurt
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
