imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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