I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
