hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
