The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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