I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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